Evolving You to Overcome Challenges and Achieve Your GoalsJan 19, 2023
By nature, humans are always striving to evolve and improve themselves. It's just part of the human experience. We all have things we want to improve in our lives and experiences like...
- Creating new habits
- Reducing stress and burnout
- Being less reactive and/or attacking when we're angry or hurt
- Improving our relationships, connections, and expressing empathy
- Stop numbing, avoiding, or hiding our emotions
- Eliminating perfectionism and story-telling
The beginning of the year is a common time to attempt to make changes in our lives. In fact, you may be one of the millions of people who created a new year's resolution around overcoming one or more of the challenges listed above. You may have come up with a goal to "stop yelling at your kids, spouse, or family," or "feel better about myself and increase my confidence and happiness."
What if you could experience better relationships with deeper connections, improved productivity, confidence, and creativity, greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence, and more happiness, joy, peace, and love? Most of us would say, "Absolutely! That sounds great! Sign me up!"
We can experience all these things, but we have to be willing to take the right actions to accomplish them. The new year is a great time for a new start and a new you. But the truth is, only a small fraction of new year's resolutions will be successful. According to Forbes Magazine, 80% of new year's resolutions fail by February.
Why do so many attempts to make changes in our lives fail?
Most solutions only address what is easy to see – the behaviors – and ignore the root emotion or issue that is truly causing the challenge. For example, we might deal with a low performer at work by addressing their failure to complete a task or project (the behavior) rather than remedying their feelings of overwhelm, confusion, or frustration (the root).
These solutions often don't give us the ability to understand the root feelings or emotions. They make it difficult to know the emotions, express them, or see how they relate to overall challenge we are experiencing. When we only focus on the surface behaviors (results or actions), we miss everything going on beneath them (thoughts, feelings, emotions, physiology) which makes sustained change nearly impossible as it is based on willpower rather than transformational learning.
Most of the time we are trying to make change in our lives, we are using solutions that have worked for others. We might attend a training where everyone gets the same advice, checklist of actions, or list of resources/tools. We've all tried a diet after hearing from a friend how well it worked for them or use a strategy a therapist suggested on a social media video on how to improve communication with our spouse.
The problem is, we struggle to integrate these suggestions in our own lives to create real, lasting change because we can't apply them to our real-life situation and the problems we are trying to solve. Furthermore, these suggestions aren't identifying your unique wisdom for what actions will work best for you.
Lack of Support
Making a lasting change is extremely difficult without a powerful support system in place. Attending a one-time training makes it too easy to forget the concepts you learned as time passes. Research suggest humans will forget on average 50% of new information they learn within just an hour of learning it. That statistic goes up to an average of 70% after 24 hours. By a week, you're likely to forget 90% of what you learned.
Additionally, as you set out on your journey to evolving yourself, you're likely to encounter challenges or roadblocks along the way that prevent you from moving forward. Without support, it is harder to take consistent action towards the change you are trying to make.
What can you do differently?
How can you overcome these challenges? The key is to understand your emotions and actions that will work for you specifically. You can do this by:
Understanding Your Emotions
Most people don't understand and/or can't even identify their emotions. There are a variety of tools exist for you to learn to self-assess your emotions and name them (e.g., feelings wheel). The wheel starts by naming the most basic emotions, but as you dig into the root emotions, you can see how there might be other things going on. For example, you may be experiencing anger, but as you dig deeper, you discover that you might actually be scared and that is what is leading you to act or respond in a certain way.
Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, manage, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Like any other skill, it can be developed overtime. However, oftentimes, it does not get developed until much later in an individual's career. By recognizing our emotions, we can get to the root issues increasing our chances of making successful changes in our lives.
If you don't deal with the emotions, the emotions will deal with you.
Four Elements of Emotional Intelligence:
- Self-Awareness (Identifying and understanding your emotional state without self-judgment)
- Self-Management (The influence or control you have over positive and negative emotions)
- Self-Expression (Understanding and managing your emotions so you can move through them constructively and move on)
- Empathy (Imagining someone’s feelings without actually absorbing them as our own)
Identify Actions aligned with Your Unique Wisdom
Rather than simply apply what has worked for others, if we can tap into our own inner knowing of what actions will be best for us given our unique strengths, situation, and specific circumstances, this will increase our chance of success. Getting ideas from coaches, reading, and going to trainings etc., are all helpful ways to come up with alternative perspectives and “possible actions,” but we must then run them through our own unique wisdom to see what feels and fits best for us.
What can I do to ensure my success?
E2E has created a tool and resources to help individuals be more successful at making lasting change in their lives.
Our Evolving You App is a customized solution that supports you in gaining massive momentum towards your goals this year. This brand-new technology measures your emotional intelligence and couples it with neuroscience-based on-demand training and coaching to create massive results.
Check out this video to learn more about the app.
In order to ensure you are successful, our solution addresses each of the challenges that lead to failure.
You take the emotional intelligence (EI) assessment, and we monitor your data to provide support. We also offer you specific suggestions for videos to watch, actions to take, and next steps based on your EI data. With unlimited live 1:1 coaching, we can address specific issues in these sessions that you can schedule on-demand and as needed.
Root Emotions & Issues
We are using real-time, objective data to work on challenges rather than waiting for a later day when the emotion is gone. This allows you to move through issues faster and more effectively because when we address the root emotion, we can make identify issues more quickly and resolve them to create results that are long-lasting and impactful. It's not about having the willpower to sustain the change, it's about rewiring your neuropathways to get the long-term results because of how you worked through the issue and came to the solution.
Your Unique Wisdom
Did you know you have three brains? Or at least three places in your body with neurons that act like brains – with their own functions and memories? The head, heart, and gut are all responsible for various functions. When we want to create change in our lives or identify the best possible actions, we must align all three of our intelligences to identify the best action for ourselves. When one is out of alignment, we will inevitably fail at the goals we are trying to accomplish.
How can you get started?
Download our FREE Guide to Understanding & Addressing Burnout
To get this free resource, just click here and subscribe!
Evolving You App Launch & Pilot Coaching
We are just launching this app for the very first time so we want to get a select group of people using it quickly and frequently so they can get tremendous results right away!
Sign up to get FREE access to the Evolving You App for the month of January using the link below and coupon code: EVOLVINGYOUJANLAUNCH
What you'll get:
- Access to the Emotional Intelligence Assessment Technology powered by Vibeonix
- Access to our on-demand videos on emotional intelligence
- Access to our on-demand videos on multiple brain integration techniques
Pilot Launch Coaching Special (SIGN UP ASAP as limited spaces are available)
What you'll get:
- 3 months (Feb, March, April) of UNLIMITED 30 minute 1:1 Live Coaching Calls to address your issues.
- Suggested Actions based upon your EI data (if you elect to share it!)
Massive Momentum Offer
If you want to hit it really hard for the next three months to see how much progress you can make and how quickly you can make it, this is for you!
What you'll get:
- 6 additional pre-scheduled bi-weekly 1:1 live 75-minute coaching calls (Feb, March, April) with the coach of your choice to gain massive momentum and your progress towards your goals!
Interested in this low-cost opportunity to experience lots of coaching and try it out for yourself? There's limited space available for coaching - sign up today!!
Even if you choose not to get coaching with us or use our app, I want you to take the following steps so you can make massive change in your life starting today.
- I want you to seek out support to keep you on track. Find a coach or resource who will help you stay on track and keep you accountable as you start your journey to a new you. If you're interested in my own experience with coaching, check out my previous article.
- If you want to change your behaviors, increase your awareness to get to the root of the challenges or issues you are experiencing. Start recognizing the emotion and get to the root issue rather than just trying to change the behavior at the surface.
- Check in with yourself - apply your unique wisdom to create action in your life. Rather than blindly following what has worked for others, find the actions that are aligned with your wisdom that takes your individual strengths and circumstances into account.
Want to learn more about our other coaching offerings? Message me directly on LinkedIn and we can set up a discovery call or an introductory session together!
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