The Divine Rhythm: Rushing & Resisting Only Cause Suffering

Have you ever left a toxic or terrible workplace or relationship, only to discover the hard truth that part of the toxcity went with you because it was within you?

I left corporate to be free—but brought the hustle with me.

Now I am discovering something deeper: rhythm, resonance, and regulation. 

What a journey I’ve been on the last five years. On vacation with my kids this week, I realized I’m a completely different human being than I was just a few years ago (let alone before that.)

The work I’ve done for my business and on myself is so significant, I see now just how much I’ve been transformed by it in every way. The human I was when I left corporate five years ago is no longer recognizable by the me of today.

This isn’t just my story—it’s the silent story of so many high-performing professionals. We leave toxic workplaces only to recreate the same pressure in our own businesses or lives. Because the system lives in us long after we leave the building.

Here’s what I’ve learned—and what nature reminded me of this week on the beach.

The Beginning

When I first started my business, I felt I had to do everything as fast as possible. An internal urgency to get where I wanted to go and beat everyone else to get there first.  An inner urgency drove me—a relentless need to arrive first, to outrun and beat the rest. My body buzzing with the hum of an overworked engine, never allowed to idle.

• I published 3 books in the first year, followed by 3 chapters in 3 collaboration books. 
• I built courses, landing pages, and programs. 
• I coached, consulted, and spoke on stages.

I was doing all the things, everything suggested, every idea that entered my mind acted upon with intensity and impatience. Whatever any expert recommended…I did it. Most of which didn't work out and some that turned out to be bad investments.

I kept pushing, even when my intuition screamed at me to stop, to slow down and see that these actions were unwise and causing me terrible suffering. I ignored the wisdom within, instead looking for the answers books, experts, and strategies ourside myself.

• Instead of being guided by my inner knowing, I was swayed by the opinions of others.
• Instead of trusting myself, I looked to the logic, data, and determined they knew better.
• Instead of beliving in myself, I doubted my worth and deferred to everyone else.
• Instead of feeling, I silenced the emotions, numbing rather than risking pain.
• Instead of trusting the timing, I rushed to outrun the discomfort of not knowing.
• Instead of flowing with life’s rhythm, I resisted the pace forcing progress when what I needed was presence.

But here’s the truth…rushing & resisting only cause suffering

I may have left my company and corporate role, but I brought all my bad beliefs and habits with me. I’d left the corporate grind, only to replace it with a human hustle.

My engine stalling, burning out from the brutal pace of perpetually pursing progress and perfection. I was left stuck, stranded just trying to survive. The only way I knew to success was by striving, sacrificing, and suffering.

Since law school, I’d relied on my motto and mantra of, “Just keep swimming.” With time it transformed into and became “just keep trying not to drown.”

I felt weighed down by a lifetime of boulders of stuck stress shackled to my body. The exhaustion overwhelming and shackles keeping me stuck unable to stop swimming.

The shackles of systems built on a framework of "driven to do more" and "don’t stop till you succeed" kept me pushing past my point of pain. These aren’t just my struggle, they’re symptoms of outdated human operating systems still running in workplaces.

Systems of shackles…

• created for speed, not need
• designed for output, not opportunity
• keeping you stuck, not supported
• built for control, not connection
• made to extract, not empower
• promoting performance, not purpose 
• rewarding burnout, not balance
• signaling silence, not safety

Systems of surviving, not thriving. 

Until eventually my body began crashing again, and again, and again. I couldn’t see it then. But I can see it now. 

The system is structured to keep us swimming. To keep us out there, swimming and suffering until we drown.

It’s so ingrained in our bodies and beings, we don’t even recognize we’re doing it. Like a lobster placed in water and slowly boiled alive, we swim and swim as our spirit slowly dies. 

We swim and swim as the waves wash us away.

• Till they wash away our hope and happiness.
• Till they wash away our sense of self and safety.
• Till they wash away our plans for protection.
• Till they wash away the our truth and trust of others.
• Till they wash away our capacity to care.

We don’t flail or fail. We perform. Smiling through the storm. Holding our breath beneath the surface—and saying it's strength. It’s not that we chose to stay. It’s that we were taught to endure. To use grit and get over it.

To twist discomfort into dedication. And call it love. Or loyalty. Or leadership. The body remembers. The ache in your chest. The tightness in your jaw. The weight you carry as if the ocean asked you to hold it together and you said, "yes."

Serendipitous Signs & Signals

I used to move so quickly and be forever distracted by my mind, that I would miss the things around me completely. I wouldn’t notice the nudges that were offered to guide my path. 

I'd ignore the intuitive intelligence within my gut guiding me to the gifts of the wisdom within.

With purpose and presence, I now allow my intelligences to guide me with their wisdom. I notice what’s being offered to me and look for the lessons that support my growth and development.

On the beach in Florida, I had multiple serendipitous signs or signals that attracted my attention: from manatee grass lining the beach, to dozens of sea turtle nests popping up each night, to finding a tree agate rock at the water's edge, and my 9-year-old son's suprise. 

I felt nudges to notice this wisdom from the world placed perfectly in my path. With a little research, what I discovered was surprisingly relevant and relatable to my present sense of purpose.

Tree Agate Rock

Tree Agate is often considered a stone of inner peace, balance, and connection to nature. Its swirling green patterns resemble trees, vines, or forests, reminding us of the cyclical wisdom of the Earth—seasons, growth, shedding, and renewal.

This unique stone (not native to Florida) feels like a quiet reminder to come back to what’s natural and true. Holding it, I’m reminded to slow down, to breathe with the Earth again, and to trust the cycles I’m in. 

It’s not about perpetually pushing past the pain, but returning to a pace and flow that actually sustains and supports us. A rhythm that brings me back to myself.

Sea Turtles

Meanwhile, sea turtles are truly ancient beings here for over 100 million years, with wisdom of trusting the journey. Sea turtles lay their eggs and leave them to hatch and make their way to the ocean on their own. They place their faith in the natural process of life even when you can’t yet see its impact.

The messages is clear: 

Sometimes, the most important things you are creating are beneath the surface—protected, hidden, and growing in perfect time.

The me I've been becoming in recent years, is the most precious and important creation of all. A being who now acknowledges the importance of divine timing rather than rushing to prove her value or worthiness. 

Manatee Grass

Have you heard of manatee grass? No? Me neither. But this week, the Florida beach was covered in it. I looked it up to learn more about it. 

Manatee grass symbolizes:

• slowing down and softening
• moving with grace, not force
• trusting the flow of life rather than rushing or resisting

Manatee grass is an essential piece of marine life. It’s vital to the marine ecosystem as it supports the marine life. A reminder that our actions have a ripple affect outward we are all part of a larger system.

Manatee grass is incredibly resilient; its blades bend without breaking and regrow quickly after storms. This symbolizes we are stronger than we think. Storms bring up upheaval, but also clear space for new growth.

The message clear:

True resilience comes from regulation of our lives and bodies, resonance with others, and riding the rhythms of life.

My Son's Surprise

You may not be able to tell from the picture below, but my son's suprise beach creation for me was a head brain + heart brain + gut brain. Without prompting or plan, he built a mirror of the model I teach. It was playful. Innocent. Wise. 

This wasn’t random. He knows these parts because we’ve practiced checking in with them—tuning into his thoughts, feelings, and instincts to help guide his choices and regulate his energy. 

I was struck by the simplicity and depth of the moment. It was a reflection of the work I do with leaders, now being embodied by a 9-year-old on a beach. 

A reminder that this wisdom is not something we teach from the outside in—but something we remember from the inside out. 

And when we nurture it in our children, it becomes part of how they shape the world around them.

A reminder that the truth doesn’t always come from effort. Sometimes it emerges through presence, through play, through the unfiltered brilliance of a child attuned to the rhythm of the moment.

Regulation, Rhythm, & Resonance

In moments of absolute presence with my kids, we were truly connected, coherent, and conscious. 

• With our practice of regularly regulating and co-regulating nervous systems, we were able to remain conscious and coherent. 
• By fully attuning to their needs, we developed a resonance that could be felt even by others near us. 
• Collectively, we were connected and co-creaitng a beautiful rhythm of fully living joyfully and playfully.

We rediscovered the magic and beauty of living life in flow. Our days flowed like a river from one moment of joy to the next. 

With the permission and encouragement from my partners to be present and put work on pause, I stopped checking my email and even my watch for the time. 

We let our bodies guide us from one activity and moment to the next.

Wisdom Within

This wisdom within was a clear contrast to the ways of being exhibited by the high-strung, stress-driven, burned-out leader who left corporate. Today's version of me is a fully present and purpose driven leader passionate about helping people.

• A leader who will never be a guru because the wisdom you need isn’t in me, it’s in you!
• A leader uninterested in power or prestige, but passionate about the potential of people.
• A leader done with the rat race, the perpetual push to acquire, accomplish and achieve.
• A leader opting out of the current system of sacrifice and suffering in silence to just barely survive.
• A leader recognizing our systems need significant upgrades and aren’t getting them.
• A human being whose focus is no longer just on what I know or do, but on who I’m becoming and being in this world.
• A leader who leads in the natural rhythm and resonance of a life of love and laughter.

I no longer need grit or grind to get me through to the finish line.

Fast and hard doesn’t always get you were you want to go. Just as the wise turtle slowly moves from one place to the next, so too must we learn to work with our wisdom within.

The truth is… when we catch the wave, we can ride further faster and easier. When we are in rhythm and resonance with ourselves, nature, and those around us, a powerful peace emerges. 

This powerful peace allows the magic of life to bring us where we most need to go.

Reflection: Rediscovering Your Rhythm

1. What patterns or beliefs did you carry with you—even after leaving a toxic space?
2. Where in your life are you still rushing, resisting, or overriding your inner wisdom? Is it helping you, or actually hurting you?
3. How does your body signal when you’re out of rhythm or alignment? When did you last listen to its wisdom within?
4. What signs, sensations, or serendipities have been nudging you lately? Have you slowed down enough to even notice?
5. If you stopped striving and started trusting—what might emerge?

Conclusion

The truth? You don’t have to grind to grow.

You don’t have to burn out to break through. You were never meant to swim until you drowned. 

You were made to rise with the tide. To move in rhythm with your body, your being, and the wisdom that lives within you. To lead—not through force or fear—but through presence, resonance, and trust.

So stop paddling upstream. Pause. Breathe. Listen.

The rhythm is already within you. It always has been.

If this speaks to you, I’d love to hear what rhythm you’re rediscovering or reclaiming, or what the waves are whispering to you now.

Consider: What would change if we built workplaces around rhythm, regulation, and resonance—not just results?